I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want to make out with him forever
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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