I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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