Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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