i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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