i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
