last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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