Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
