Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
