Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
