there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
