Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
