Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
