If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
