okay pat passed out under dana's car
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
