We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
