I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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