honey bunches of taint.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
