who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
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