HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love having hate sex.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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