You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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