so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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