yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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