if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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