dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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