is your mom at the bar?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
