the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
