are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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