I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
