Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
