Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
