I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
