I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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