youre lurking in front of me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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