I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
