so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
