No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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