Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
