its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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