So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
