his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You don't make any sense
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