who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We need to get me chipped asap
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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