I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
