My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
