I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
