i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pooping to opera.
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