I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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