I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
