I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
