So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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