So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
